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September 15, 2016

Dumb Criminals That Beat The Cocaine Cowgirls

The Cocaine Girls

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First of all, let’s go over what the Cocaine Girls did. They made a big splash posting their vacation pictures on Instagram as they trotted around the world on a cruise ship with Australia as their final destination. They could be models. But, they were up to something else and no one knew what.

Big Time Smuggling

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When Isabelle Lagace and Melina Roberge finally arrived in Australia, that was the end of their trip. Police boarded the cruise ship and found them with estimates of $22 to $30 million in cocaine. They were charged with importing a commercial quantity of cocaine and they are facing life in prison. Not smart at all! Remember them as you roll with laughter through the rest of these criminals who aren’t that bright.

Bank Robber Take Out Order

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Albert Bailey thought he’d try bank robbery an entirely different way. He didn’t want to put anyone’s life in danger and he didn’t want the hassle of screaming at people, getting them to lie down on the floor, and telling them that no one will get hurt as long as they don’t try something stupid. So, he called the bank and told them to leave a bag of cash on the floor. That’s not all there was to the plan though.

Bank Robber Take Out Order

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Bailey was the getaway driver as his 16 year old accomplice entered the bank. The money was there on the floor. But, the teller had called the police and they had already responded. Bailey and his young accomplice didn’t even make it out of the parking lot with their $900 total.

Brag About It On Youtube

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Hanna Sabata was very proud of herself. So much so, she made a video where she bragged about everything she had done and how good she was at it. The video got over a million hits and she was invited to Nebraska’s local Channel 6 WOWT to talk about her accomplishments. But, what was she so proud of that could get her over a million hits on Youtube?

Brag About It On Youtube

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She did some drugs, stole a car, and then robbed a bank. She walked right in with a pillowcase and a note that said, “You’re being robbed.” There’s something about admitting to that in an interview with a television station that gave the judge all he needed to give her ten to twenty years.

Car Thief Can’t Drive

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This blooper was caught on film or we wouldn’t know it ever happened. The car thief comes up to the driver and orders him out at gunpoint. Then driver complies and is ordered to get on his face at the back of the truck. The thief jumps in the truck and that’s where everything goes wrong.

Car Thief Can’t Drive

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The footage that was caught shows the thief jerking the truck. Then, it stops. Then, it jerks forward again. Then, it stops. Eventually, the thief gets out of the truck and runs away. For a few minutes of total chaos, the truck owner gets his truck back and the internet gets a good laugh out of it.

Burglary At Night

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James Blankenship is an interesting individual. Rather than knocking on the door, he broke into his mom’s house in an attempt to rob it. They must not be on good terms, because he wasn’t welcome there. When she caught him, he ran and that would be all there was to the story if it weren’t for one more interesting twist.

Burglary At Night

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He beat feet and was caught moments later. But, he thought there wasn’t any problem with any of it. When he talked to the police, he said that it can’t be burglary because it wasn’t done at night. Interesting concept. Too bad it’s not true and the police didn’t agree.

Dumbest Car Thief

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He looked the Mercedes over and walked around it. Then, he threw a rock at the driver’s side window. It bounced back and fell on the ground. Then, he walked away. You’d think that would be the end of the story. But the footage that was caught of this robbery attempt didn’t end there.

Dumbest Car Thief

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He came back with a brick. Strolling across the parking lot like he’s got this, he heaves the brick at the car. The brick bounced back and knocked him out. Police found him in his own pool of blood and were able to figure out what happened rather quickly.

He Stole My Pot

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It was her 25th birthday and all Shane Walker wanted to do was sell a little pot, smoke some, and celebrate. But unfortunately, her boyfriend had taken the stash. Well, she did what any normal part time drug dealer would do and she called the cops to report him. How well do you think that ended for her?

Followed Up With His Victims

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Jason Hayes broke into the house of an elderly couple. He held them at gunpoint and demanded money. But, they didn’t have any. So, he kidnapped them and they all visited a local ATM together where he forced them to pull out as much money as they could. It must not have been enough because he set up an appointment with them the next day to come with $1500.

Followed Up With His Victims

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The couple called the police who scratched their heads and doubted Hayes would show. After all, who would show right? No one could be that dumb. Police followed up with it anyway and he did show. Not only that, but he was wearing the same clothes that he did the day before.

The Cucumber Thief

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In Scotland, the British based company Ladbrokes is a place where you can bet on sporting events and do some in-house gambling. It’s not hard to imagine that there might be a good bit of money in there at all times. Look it up and you’ll find that there have been plenty attempts to knock it over. But, none quite like this particular one.

The Thief Cucumber

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Gary Rough decided to walk in and hold up the teller. The teller wasn’t going to hand over any money and the off-duty detective standing behind Gary wasn’t going to let him get away with it either. He jumped Gary and took him to the ground. That’s where he found out that Gary was trying to hold the place up with a cucumber. That’s right! He wasn’t happy to see anyone. He had a cucumber in his pocket.

The Blind Thief Guy

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Robbing a bank is pretty hard. You have a lot of things to plan and then you have to execute perfectly because banks have been perfecting their reactions to robberies. This guy thought he had a good game plan. But, it didn’t quite go as good as planned when he put a coarse canvas sack over his head and entered the bank.

The Blind Thief Guy

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He couldn’t see. He was bumping into customers and tripping all over the place. The weapons he took in with him to pull off the robbery of the century were a plastic knife and a toy gun. So where did it go wrong? He had to take the sack off his head to see his way and he looked right into the camera.

Post It On Facebook

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Mack Yearwood in an interesting individual. When he was wanted by the police, they put his wanted picture online. Mack thought it would be a great idea to post his mugshot and let all his friends see it. But, that’s just the beginning of the story.

Post It On Facebook

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One night, there was an incident that involved Mack. It was a battery complaint and Mack fled the scene obviously. But, all the police had to do was look online. It seems that when you post your wanted photo, it makes you easier to find. When they found him and arrested him with outstanding warrants, he slipped into his jeans and pot fell out of his pockets. He was not having a great day!

Permanent Marker Disguise Guys

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Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller had a great idea to break into a place and steal some money. They were seen by a witness. But, it’s hard to figure out how they were identified. After all, they HAD colored their faces with permanent marker. How could anyone pick them out of a lineup?

Permanent Marker Disguise Guys

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That’s the thing. Permanent marker doesn’t appear to come off. It was a dead giveaway. Just get the guys who can’t get the marker off their faces. So when the cops caught up to them, it was only a few minutes later. It wasn’t much of a surprise that McNelly was highly intoxicated and got a DUI charge too.

The Instagram Thief

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What’s up with all these criminals posting their adventures on social media? Do these guys not know that every little detail can be used as evidence to find their location and track them down? Dupree Johnson showed off his exploits by posting pictures of the car he stole, the cash he robbed, and the guns he was not allowed to hold as a felon. That is just the beginning of the story.

The Instagram Thief

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Using the details in the photos, the police secured a warrant and raided his home. They found $250,000 worth of stolen merchandise. The fact that he had plenty of firearms added to how many felony counts he totaled. In all, he was issued 142 different charges. But, he didn’t post much of that on Instagram. Wonder what that’s about?

The Push Not Pull Guy

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This guy is a particularly different brand of stupid. His name is unknown as of yet and you’ll soon find out why. This story begins when he entered an English bank with a note and demanded money. This particular bank has a well-trained way of reacting.

The Push Not Pull Guy

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In no time at all, shields came up and the man was left standing there looking at nothing. The tellers had disappeared that fast. So, the man only had one thing to do. That was to get out of there as fast as humanly possible. So, he ran back to the door and pushed as hard as he could. But, it didn’t come open. He pushed again. But, something was wrong.

The Push Not Pull Guy

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All he had to do was look at the sign on the door where it said, “Pull.” When pushing the door open doesn’t work, try pulling. Most of the time, those are the only two ways a door will go. The would-be thief got out when a customer came in and looked around confused. That’s when the thief figured out how the door worked and he ran.

Who Tried To Rob Chuck Norris?

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These guys go unnamed too because it appears they’ve suffered enough. They took one look at Chuck Norris on a Dallas, Texas street and thought he was just a movie star. It’s all choreographed right? So, they pulled a knife on him and demanded his wallet. When he realized they didn’t want an autograph, he asked, “Are you insane?”

Who Tried To Rob Chuck Norris?

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When the cops came, they saw Chuck Norris leaning up against the wall. The two would-be thieves were sitting on the curb with broken bones and bruised egos. The cops took one look at Chuck Norris and asked the thieves, “What were you thinking? Didn’t you know who he was?”

The Job Applicant

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When Cody Conner walked into Cupid’s Corner, A Florida sex shop, he was not looking to buy any lingerie. He was looking to rob the place. He needed the money. He pulled out his gun and demanded money from the clerk at the time, Cheryl Hunter. But, she had a plan.

The Job Applicant

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She asked him what he needed the money for. When he said that he was trying to help his grandparents pay their bills, she talked him into filling out a job application. The thing is that he used his real name. That kind of made it easier for the cops to chase him down and arrest him for attempting to rob a sex shop.

Detonating Today