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December 8, 2016

Elf On A Shelf And Out Of Control!

Life Decisions

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Looks like Elf on a shelf made the wrong choices in life. It might not be too late, though. As long as he goes to rehab and takes it seriously, he can still turn his life around and become a productive member of Santa’s workforce.

Is Elf Depressed?

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Elf might be a bit depressed judging from this picture! Maybe someone should stage an intervention before things get out of control!

Elf On A Shelf, Public Enemy #1

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Dexter has NOTHING on Elf on a shelf! Here’s elf caught red-handed trying to satisfy his murderous urges. Looks like it’s off to the slammer with you, Elf! Society does not appreciate serial killers!

Someone Needs Our Help

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Oh Elf! What trouble have you gotten yourself into this time? Elf needs our help to get out of his glass prison. Help the little guy out, would you?

Toilet Breath, Anyone?

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No wonder that toothbrush tasted a little nutty… Elf is one big sicko! Now that we know what he’s been up to at night, we’re never going to sleep again. And if we do, it will be with our toothbrushes!

Another One Bites The Dus

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How many fatal drunk driving accidents will it take before people realize you should never get behind the wheel of a car after you’ve been drinking. RIP, Elf.

We Would Say Something, Butt…

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Elf on a shelf might have had a bit too much eggnog at this year’s office Christmas party! Hopefully your boss will be understanding this time around, Elf… not like at that previous job you used to have!

We Used To Love That Candy

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Thanks, Elf, for ruining another piece of our childhood. We used to love peppermint candy, before we found out it should instead be called poopermint.

Not Sure How We Feel About This One

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Is Peppermint Schnapps something Elf likes to drink, or is that a vial of his donated blood? Elf needs to take it easy, there are a lot of pictures of him indulging in drink.

Elf The Lush

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Elf desperately needs to attend an AA meeting or 10. It’ll be hard to stay anonymous, considering how famous he is, but it’s important for him to go through the steps.

0% Chocolate Drop Cookies

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Well, we were hoping that was chocolate, but it looks like we were wrong. Hey, at least it tastes good. We can keep pretending.

Darker Than The Dark Side

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Elf on a shelf must have been one very bad Elf if he’s got the Light side working with the Dark side against him! Even Jango Fett is in on the action!

Nice Knowing You, Elf!

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We’re all for saving Elf from any danger he might be in… except for this one. It’s not that we’re scared of spiders or anything… but did you see the SIZE of that arachnid?!

Elf In A Box

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Oh boy. Elf in a box is NOT a good idea, Elf! Sure, you might think it’s going to entice those Barbies to go on a date with you, but let us warn you right now, Barbie will not be happy with her surprise!

Elf Whip-Its

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Reddi Wip might be delicious (if you’re from West Virginia) but we doubt Elf got the can for it’s glorious, cavity-forming foam. No, Elf had some slightly more nefarious reasons for that purchase. Now, he’s out cold!

Elfecution

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It doesn’t look good for Elf. For whatever reason, those soldiers have him in their sights and are about to perform an elfecution! We’d save him, but they look like they mean business!

Elf, The Royal Lover

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Hmmm, how is Queen Elizabeth’s husband going to take THIS news? Her Royal Majesty and Elf, cuddling up in a bowl full of bling… and a gun!

The Wicked Elf Of The West

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He followed the yellow-brick road and ended up in the Wicked Witch of the West’s bed. Elf, you sly devil! I guess we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Elf And Snow White

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Elf is turning to some pretty drastic measures to come up with money for Christmas presents! Snow White is innocent and should not have been kidnapped for ransom. Then again, the Prince IS really rich…

Elf The Barber

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That guy is going to wake up in a great mood, but that’s going to change really quickly to bad once he sees what Elf has done with his hair. Elf might as well leave for the North Pole right now. He’ll need the head start.

Card Shark

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Time to go all in, Elf. Maybe there’s a sucker around the table that will fall for your poker face! You might not have known this before, but Elf is quite the card shark.

Bumming Around

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The Christmas season’s monetary take-in isn’t what it used to be in the good old days. Elf was having trouble making ends meet and now he’s out, living in the street. Poor Elf.

Go Away, Cookie Monster!

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Correct us if we’re wrong, but Elf looks like he’s purposefully enticing the cookie monster and enjoying the fact that the blue cookie-addict can’t get to the cookies. That’s evil, Elf, simply evil!

It’s Christmas Time!

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Awww, Uncle Elf looks like he loves the new-born Jesus. We bet he’s going to be a great uncle. His eyes seem a little red, though… what herb was it that he brought for the kid?

Do You Have A Prescription For That?

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Uh oh! That sleigh-ride accident last Christmas has caused Elf to get hooked on painkillers. Now that his prescription is out, he has to turn to the streets to feed his addiction!

Detonating Today