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August 4, 2015

Miss Piggy and Kermit Breakup!!!! Is the World Ending?!?!

Maybe it’s the global temperatures rising, or maybe Mad Cow disease has moved onto other victims, but whatever it is, something is making some animals act BONKERS! After 40 years of Muppet love, Kermit and Miss Piggy are calling an end to their interspecies relationship! What brought on this madness?!

Sure, 2015 has been anything but the year of love. Back in June, we heard of Marge and Homer taking Sideshow Bob’s rake through their loving marriage and piling its remains onto an incredulous, dismayed public. Maybe these two are to blame? Or maybe the loveless human world is finally creeping into our fantasy creations. This past month we’ve heard of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale splitting, Reba McEntire and Narvel Blackstock, Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, (possibly) Will and Jaden Smith, Big Sean and Ariana Grande, and the list goes on and on and on…

Whatever is causing this nonsense, we want to let whoever’s got their busy little hands up Kermit’s and Miss Piggy’s, er, business, that this behavior is unacceptable. Think of the children! How will our kids ever be able to form lasting relationships if you keep pulling these shenanigans? I think I speak for everyone when I say let that pig get a frog in her throat, and fall in love again!!

They seemed so happy…

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A love we all looked up to…

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Can’t we go back to the good times?!?!

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And forget some of the bad…

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Now Kermit will turn to the bottle…

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…and Miss Piggy back to food.

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Who knew Kermit wasn’t just being friendly here…

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Or here…

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But she was no Saint Piggy herself…

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Et tu, Piggy?

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Thanks for all those LIES of love and happy ever after.

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Whatever, I guess… ;( ;( ;(

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Detonating Today