NEWS

SEARCH

Recommended
momFeaturedImage
August 29, 2016

Mom Jokes That Will Literally Kill You

Check out these mom jokes that will, in fact, kill you dead!

Oh, Mom, You Kill Me!

Source Source 2
Source
Source 2

No, really, mom, you’re killing me with your joke! That’s not a figure of speech… I literally just felt my gall bladder tear in half from your terrible joke!

She’s Just Punning Around

Source
Source

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Mom has arrived at a fork in the road and has to decide… to pun or not to pun?

Your Mom Will Always Protect You

Source
Source

Mom never wants to see her children get hurt, so you should know she always has your best interest at heart… except when she’s trolling you.

Mom Does it?

Source
Source

The last thing any kid ever wants to hear is their parents “doing it.” Even though they KNOW it must have happened, it’s still taboo!

Mom’s Feeling Really Creative

Source
Source

Well, leave it to mom to exert her creativity in the most inappropriate way! That’s why we love her… her dirty mind!

Mom Obviously Took The Red Pill

Source
Source

Looks like mom must have taken the red pill, judging by this comment. That, or she dated Stephen Hawking back in the day.

Mom Trying To Keep Current

Source
Source

Well, at least mom is TRYING to keep current, which is harder to do than you think, the older you get. Props to mom.

Trend Setter

Source
Source

Mom’s dropping some new slang, and we have to admit, it’s actually pretty funny!

It Can Take A While…

Source
Source

Sometimes, mom is just so clever, it takes a while to catch on to the fact that she’s telling a joke. Sometimes, NO ONE gets it…

Mom Speaks, Hilarity Ensues

Source Source 2
Source
Source 2

Oh mom! You sure know our weakness… knock knock jokes. No really, we’re dying here! As in, please call 911!

Never Learned THAT Lesson

Source
Source

Yeah, that will teach you to tell mom anything! All these years you’ve spent listening to her terrible jokes and you fell for it again!

Pushing It

Source
Source

Some jokes work great when spoken, but not as well when written down… this is one of them.

I See What You Did There

Source
Source

Looks like mom is a master wordsmith! Her play-on-words skills are unmatched anywhere in the western hemisphere!

No Sorry For You!

Source
Source

Yeah, we doubt mom will be apologizing for THAT terrible joke! Once she tells it, she stays committed!

International Flavor

Source
Source

There’s a chance that mom might have the wrong idea about that holiday… but we like where she’s going with this one!

You Won’t Be Stepmom For Much Longer

Source
Source

There’s a huge chance that dad and stepmom will be getting a divorce really soon… that joke might spell the end of their marriage.

The Truth Hurts

Source
Source

That’s a joke, the truth and an explanation all rolled up in one! Props to mom for a joke well executed!

Mom Don’t Need No Audience!

Source
Source

Mom is perfectly fine doing a joke all by herself. She can be the comedian AND the crowd ROFLHAO!

Dang! Mom Is Ruthless!

Source
Source

Oh snap! Mom has a ruthless and mean streak to her joking! We like it! That joke was awesome!

Toilet Humor

Source
Source

Mom’s sense of humor seems to have reached the toilet… which is great and all, we love poop jokes… but it might not be ok for primetime TV.

This Might Be The One That Finally Kills Us

Source
Source

…But not because it’s a good joke… It’s actually terrible. We wonder, has anyone ever actually died from hearing a bad joke?

Chalk It Up To Fat Fingers

Source
Source

Yeah, that spelling mistake was completely due to really fat fingers. Mom was on it, though, without a second thought!

J.K. Rowling Would Be Proud

Source
Source

We’re pretty sure J.K. Rowling is fond of her franchise being used for really dirty and nasty jokes… well, not THAT sure, but still…

Actually, No, It’s About To End!

Source
Source

That’s right, it’s not just starting… in fact, the article is about to end! Goodbye mom, and no thanks for all the bad jokes!

Detonating Today