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July 25, 2016

Pictures That Trump Would Rather Keep Secret

This Is Just Plaid Embarrassing

1
When you’re a billionaire, it’s important to dress like one… which includes NEVER WEARING PLAID AGAIN! Shame on you, Donald, shame on you!

“Remember, I’m Gonna Pretend To Hate You…”

3
Not only is he friends with Hillary Clinton… he’s also friends with her husband, former Democratic President, Bill Clinton. How much more GOP-controversial can you get?!

I’ve Got Billions, They’ve Got Hooters

4
Running as the Presidential candidate of a party that espouses (if not practices) traditional standards of morality… Donald might want to keep this picture under wraps… oops.

Illegal in NYC

5
Busting out his best man spreading pose, Donald might want to stay out of New York City for a bit… a city that has banned comfortable poses. Bunch of tyrannical morons!

He Sure Loves Women

6
We know Donald is a straight guy, so we KNOW he loves women! But as a Presidential candidate, you’re technically not supposed to draw attention to that.

Bring On The Chicks

8
Donald has to spend his money somehow and what else spends money as fast as gold digging women? Nothing, that’s what.

Donald Arrives With His Harem

9
We know Republicans secretly love debauchery, they just love to pretend they don’t. Donald has no problems flaunting it but he might want to keep it secret during the campaign.

Donald, The Playboy

10
Thinking of himself as a Hugh Hefner suits Trump just fine. Here he is with his wife, Melania Trump, and one of Hefner’s many, many women.

Creepazoid

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America today has reverted to nearly the Victorian standards of modesty from England of years gone by… so Donald kissing a much younger Miss America doesn’t really fly anymore.

Hail To The Sheikh

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More proof of Donald’s love of Saudi Arabian oil money… uh, we mean Saudi Arabia. Actually, no, we really mean his love of money.

Decidedly Un-First Lady Like

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Every guy in America WISHES the First Lady acted like this all the time, but that’s not what’s going to win an election… or is it?

The Gateway To Hell Is Now Open

14
We’re not quite sure what’s happening here or how we should be reacting, but it’s clearly obvious that the gateway to Hell is now open for business.

…And Then I Told Them I Didn’t Inhale!

15
Donald Trump enjoys the company of former President, Bill Clinton, as they play a round of golf on one of Trump’s golf courses.

Money Buys Beauty

16
Women don’t really care if a guy is good looking or not… so long as he has money. Money trumps all, as it were, and Trump has some serious trumping power!

Pledge Allegiance To THIS!

17
Donald Trump refuses to be caught on camera pledging allegiance to a country… that would limit his options too much. He needs some breathing room for his backdoor dealing.

Trump, Clinton & Co.

18
A quick round of golf with people richer and more powerful that you can ever dream possible is a regular day in the life of Trump. But don’t worry, he’ll fight for the people!

Donald vs The Wind Ain’t Pretty

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And that was just a light breeze! Can you even begin to imagine what this man looks like in the morning?!

Sucking Face, Trump Style!

20
This will either make you think Trump’s just a regular, dirty old man, or it will make you gag… probably both. HURL!

This Should Be Plastered EVERYWHERE!

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Here’s one picture that Donald Trump should actually encourage to be plastered everywhere a man, woman and child can see. That’s Donald winning a bet against WWE’s Vince McMahon and collecting!

Donald Likes His B-Ball Players Flamboyant

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Donald cozying up to famous basketball player, Dennis Rodman, the most flamboyant player formerly in the game.

All These Pics Are Now Internet Immortal?!

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Yup, this is how Donald feels now that these pics are all internet immortal… and just in time for the Presidential election!

Well This Is Awkward

1
There’s nothing quite as Presidential as wrestling with a woman in public. Hopefully that didn’t leave any bruises.

GOP Frontrunners

2
For a while, Trump and Cruz were the frontrunners for the GOP nomination… until everyone noticed that Trump was winning by a landslide.

Serving The People

3
This is NOT what Donald Trump meant when he said he would serve the people. Actually, we’re not sure he said that at all.

In His Element

4
You can tell by Donald Trump’s smile when he’s in his element. His element being “anytime he’s feeling appreciated.”

He Loves The Wings At Hooters

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And why wouldn’t he? They’re delicious! Especially when served by a beautiful waitress.

Not Quite Sure Why He’s On THIS Cover

6
Did Playboy really think this was a selling point for their magazine? More so than the hot girl? If I was that model, I’d feel insulted.

It’s Good To Be Rich

7
Not worrying about bills is awesome. Being is this picture is priceless.

Some People Want Their Books Signed, And Others…

8
The office of the President of the United States needs to uphold a certain standard of conduct. We guess this might be the standard from now on.

Not Sure Which One Is More Controversial

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It’s a toss up, really! Both of these men are really controversial, depending on who you ask.

The Second Ammendment

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Donald Trump supports your second ammendment right… to own a musket!

Give It Up, Homie!

11
Donald tried for the “low five,” Jeb Bush decided it was time for an awkward holding of hands.

“Yo Momma Is So…”

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Now might not be the best time for a “Yo Momma” joke, Donald, even if you ARE talking to Ted Cruz.

Donald And OG George

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Donald with the original George H. Dubya Bush. He might not want to be photographed with one of the only Presidents since WWII to be a one-term President.

Thumbs Up For Allah

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Donald Trump has nothing but love for Saudi Arabia… in front of the Saudis… and nothing but hatred for Islam… in front of Republicans. Anyone else see a contradiction here?

Smiling With The Enemy

2
Ooooh man! You might be surprised to hear this, and Donald might want to keep this a secret (too late), but he’s really good friends with his supposed enemy, Hillary Clinton.

Detonating Today