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December 30, 2016

Why Dads Shouldn’t Be Left Alone With Their Kids

Is Anyone Missing?

is anyone missing
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Did you count the kids before you took the picture? Might be one down below somewhere. Better check on that.

Got Some Bed Partners

got some bed partners
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Looks like Ken and Barbie had a rough night. They brought a friend. They’ll be hungover from too much formula when they wake up.

Come On, You Didn’t Do It?

come on you didnt do it
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Hi, I’m chubby. My momma chubby. My daddy chubby. Even my brother chubby. One day my momma said, “Hey chubby, why don’t you smile?” I said, “Sure ma, see!”

How High Can You Stack Them

how high can you stack them
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Nothing like playing baby Jenga. This is Jenga the baby edition. You have to win before the baby wakes up.

It Works

it works
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Sometimes, you got to do what you got to do. This is the latest baby model for Black Friday. He’s got his early.

It’s Good To Know The Difference

its good to know the difference
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Make sure you know the difference between your child and dinner. But, Mr. Potato has nothing on that head. Just watch when you chop.

It’s Legitimate

its legitimate
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What would a mother do? Same thing right? Why can’t a father get the rest of his hotdog off his baby’s face? What’s wrong with that?

Just Having Fun

just having fun
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Just trying different things out. Like what does your baby look like as a president in 1800s? What does your baby look like as an old man? It’s good to know these things.

Like A Grown Man

like a grown man
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He looks like he can get up and smack his dad. No need for mom to get mad. Little man can take care of it.

It’s Perfect

its perfect
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When you have a watermelon, you have to carve eyes out of it and put it on your kids head. Who hasn’t done that?

Look! She Loves It!

look she loves it
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Hey, he needed a rest. He has to chase after these kids all day while mom isn’t around. He deserves a break.

Mom Look, I Got A Tat!

mom look i got a tat
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Yeah, mom’s going to be ecstatic about that! You have to love when your babies get tatted up. They’re ready for life now!

Right In Her Face

right in her face
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Brussels sprouts last night for dinner. Chili for lunch. This is a toxic ride. Kid will not survive.

No Flailing About

no flailing about
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That’s one way to keep him down. At least he can’t hurt himself. It’s like a straight jacket. It’s for his own good.

Of Course, It Will Work

of course it will work
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Nothing like this has ever gone wrong. He can swing her all day without his back giving out. You gotta love the possibilities.

Sid Vicious

sid vicious
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Is he afraid of himself? Or is he being brought up homicidal? Only time will tell.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

teenage mutant ninja turtle
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Don’t stop him dad! He’s off to save the world. He’ll be back for feeding time. Make sure the formula’s ready.

Tell Me That’s Not Funny

tell me thats not funny
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Look at the smile and everything. That kid is having a good time. Why would mom have a problem with that?

Baby’s Fine

babys fine
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The baby is asleep. Why can’t dad play video games? I think some people are just getting a little too petty.

Good Way To Carry Him

good way to carry him
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When you can’t keep track of your kid, a plunger works. You may not have thought about it. But, it’s in all the latest childcare articles.

Kid’s Not Going Anywhere

kids not going anywhere
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Is he about to electrocute his own son? I feel for the kid. Wonder what else he has in store for their quality moments together.

That’s Perfect

thats perfect
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How did he get those eyes open like that? It’s like the first time your grandma takes you into a shower with her. Did that happen to anyone else? No? Me neither.

The Kid’s Getting Fed Right?

the kids getting fed right
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How else do you expect him to do it? Dad has to play video games. Can’t he do both at the same time?

What Could Go Wrong?

what could go wrong
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Don’t see any problem here. Keep Moving. This is how they move in some parts of the world.

Video Game Protege

video game protege
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That kid will be a master at video games by the time he’s two. Dad will be asking him how to beat a level. You’re just going to have problems getting him out of the house.

What Else Do You Do With A Banana Peel?

what else do you do with a banana peel
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There is nothing like finishing off your food and then putting the peel on your kid’s head. It makes for great pictures your kids will love when they grow up.

That’s Too Good

thats too good
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They could have used a regular pacifier. But, no! They have to get one that looks like that trend where girls are doing the Kylie Jenner Challenge.

What Else Is A Baby’s Butt For?

what else is a babys butt for
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You want him to watch the kid? He’s watching the kid. So what if he’s using the butt as a mouse?

What’s Wrong With That?

whats wrong with that
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How else do you expect him to carry the baby? Mom’s do it all the time. Why can’t dad do it?

What? It’s In A Bun!

what its in a bun
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Mom said to put it in a bun. He put it in a bun. Did you give him instructions?

Where’s He Going?

wheres he going
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That’s one way to watch to kid. It brings a whole new meaning to jail. Watch when the crib starts sliding across the floor when the kid’s ten.

Who’s Stroller Is It Dad?

whos stroller is it dad
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Let the kid play with pigeons while dad plays on Facebook. There’s nothing wrong with this picture at all.

Yeah, Let The Dog watch

yeah let the dog watch
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No better guard than a watch dog. Lock the kids up in the dog’s cage and let him sit on top. Dad can do whatever he wants now.

Detonating Today